In a Rut?

You have those times when your relationships just seem to be stuck in a rut. You feel like life with this person (friend or significant other) is montonous. Hey it's normal, we all go through it and for fear of hurting the individual we never speak up about it. Having experienced this rut myself on several occassions, I did a little research to find things to change it up (or spice it up!).
I've dedicated an entire post to pinterest before, and seriously am I ever thankful for this site. I end up finding so many things to attempt, inspirational quotes/pictures, and ways to add some flavor to any relationship.
In day to day activities, we tend to get busy and "forget" about our friends, family, and significant other. It's nothing personal, it just happens. When this happens, we don't realize how we isolate ourselves making the other individual feel awkward and left out. Then when you try to pick back up where you left off, you don't understand the space between (insert DMB music) that makes you feel so distant. I've listed a few ideas below that  can assist in getting back to normal. I've catogorized them as to whether this is best for you and your gal pals, or just for you and your significant other. Enjoy, I know I'll be doing a few of these myself.

Girl's day out:

• lunch out at a quaint restaurant
• Manicures & Pedicures
• Visit a winery ( also good for the romantic getaway)

• Out of town shopping spree (book a hotel for the night so you don't have to worry about the drive back)
• Painting Class (Sips N Stroke in Birmingham, AL is great, as well as the paint class offered by Relique in downtown Florence, AL)
• Girl's movie night in (bake goodies and share some drinks while watching old flicks)

Significant Other:

• Prepare a candle lit dinner as though you were out to a fancy restaurant
• Buy a new outfit (a naughty one) and model it for your spouse
• Get out of town-enjoying new places is a favorite of mine, and I've been begging my husband for weeks to do this
• Take a class together-whether it be cooking, painting, pottery whatever it is will be fun to learn something new together and have to talk about
• Outdoor activities-take up tennis, biking, or tossing a frisbee. Getting active together can be a lot of fun
• Games-my husband and I love to play card/board games. Make it interesting by making naughty bets ;)

• Surprise-either book a couples spa day, hot air balloon ride, or even a night in a local hotel.

Comment below, and let me know what you do to spruce up your relationships.

xoxo~

Love Letter

I was searching the files in my jump drive, when I came across this letter I had typed to Matthew (and myself) back in early 2008. I wanted to share it, because I had explored the definition of "I love you". I didn't alter my typos in order to capture the "realness". I hope you can get something out of this, and can feel inspired to not give up on love.

“Love is not a maybe thing.”-Lauren, The Hills

I love you…. three little words that can change a person’s life. I love you is often thrown around carelessly and hardly taken literally anymore. It has more definitions now than it did when it just meant, “I love you”

It’s meaning can range from the friend/brotherly love, the family love, and then the hopelessly carelessly love that makes you so weak to your knees sick love.

I love you has become a weapon to break hearts so people get what they want when they want. It has become an expression that many fear to hear or even say. And I ask myself…when did it get to that point. Why did people have to take something so beautiful and make it into something people are scared of?

I love you was something I heard often from my family. My grandfather never told my mother that he loved her, so she always made it a point to let us know she loved us. And that habit has rubbed off onto me. I tell my special friends who hold a very dear place in my heart that I love them and of course I make sure to tell my family I love them every time I speak with them.

Then the day came when I heard I love you from my first serious boyfriend. Which at that time in my life was the most awesome thing that could’ve happened to me. Little did I know I would get to experience the “other” meaning of “I love you”

I learned that I love you was not something as meaningful and beautiful as I was taught. I learned that I love you was said to get what you want when you wanted. It was a trap-an awful trap that I fell for every time.

But, the heartbreaking day came when I realized I hadn’t really been loved but used. Which of course is the most awful feeling in the world. And from that point on, I really didn’t think there was anything other than the love I had between my friends and family.

I tried to find someone who would fit my definition of I love you, but the only thing was- I lowered my standards thinking that the standards would eventually be met IF that relationship lasted long enough. But much to my disappointment, it became one failed relationship after another. And to my dismay, “I love you” became a history I thought I would never be able to experience with someone who wanted to experience it with me as well.

It only took 2 years and eight months (and of heartaches later) to run into someone who wanted to make that experience happen and of course we both didn’t know it at the time.

From the very first night that we talked, he made such an impression on me that I couldn’t get him out of my head. I was so impatient waiting on him to call or send me a message just so that I could get to know him better or just be around him.

I hadn’t felt this way…well never about someone. It just caught me off-guard because I had not been looking for anyone. I was just being myself-my goofy self (which is something I hadn’t done with anyone else) and then a wonderful thing happened. I met this amazing young man who shared my passion about several things and even better met every single standard I had set. I had no reason to lower my standards. Granted I had my guard up for a long time before I let him completely see me, but when I did our relationship grew so much and so fast that even now almost a year later I can’t believe that God has brought him into my life. I want to spend every waking moment with him, to give him everything I am. He is my other half, my best friend, my love, the one I can finally say those three beautiful words to.

Of course I waited for a long time before I even had the courage to say “I love you” but I was so excited to hear and feel the same thing from him.

And I’ll admit we have some rough patches-sometimes more than we want, but it only grows us stronger and helps us to learn about our relationship even more.  We are a very strong, passionate, and loving couple. I don’t know what I would do without him, better yet I wouldn’t know who I would be without him. Even though I knew who I was before he was brought into my life, he helped to bring me to a deeper level of knowing myself than I could have imagined. We’ve discovered so much about ourselves, because of who we are together and it is the most awesome experience ever. I can’t wait to share the rest of my life with him. I can’t wait to experience the rest of our lives together. To experience all the world has to offer. I love him and I’m so proud to say it. I love you Matthew George Crowson.

And I still love you Matthew...God only knows what else we can accomplish together (if we don't kill each other first lol).
xoxo~

Take My Advice

We've all had the relationship blues. Mine kind of existed more along the lines of the mean reds {somedays} (and if you're don't know what the means reds are, I would suggest watching Breakfast at Tiffany's-classic). You're single, you think you're miserable; love songs make you barf (or cry uncontrollable); romantic movies end up on your most hated listed; and every couple you see has a target on their back...just waiting for a hitman to take them out. You're single and you hate it, and it feels like it's going to last forever.

But it's not. It's our human nature to be melodramatic about things, especially relationships or lack thereof, because we believe that we have to have that significant other in our life to feel whole. I'm not arguing that point at all. I strongly believe that everyone has that special someone out there for him/her. We were all created with the purpose of engaging in a relationship. Believe it or not, we were all also single at some point in time, struggling to find our own love.

We forget that...we were once single. We each have our own battle story about what we went through to find what we have today. Some stories are funny that make your heart light, some stories are gruesome to the point of tears and pain. In the end, though we find what we were looking for.

I have offered "advice" or what I would call it to my single girlfriends, telling them "don't lose hope", that it will happen one day when they least expect it. I think they get a little miffed at me and I know that in the back of their minds they're thinking "what do you know, you're married". How do I know this? I thought the same thing when a couple told me that. I thought that there was no possible way that they could understand what I feel. Funny how we think that, right? I laugh now, especially at how mad I would get at these people. It would get to the point where I didn't even want to be around them because being with another couple only made me realize how much more single I was. I lost friendships because of my lack of a relationship...looking back on it, there's a reason to everything but I could've prevented that from happening. I could have embraced the relationships I chose to be around, learning about them, therefore helping me to understand what I wanted. Eventually I did learn that. The number one relationship was that of my parent's, then this couple at a church we used to go to. I also learned what I wanted out of a relationship from the bible-believe it or not (for those of you doubting the bible has any relevance in your life, you'd be surprised).

And you're wondering why am I saying all of this? Because I want people to realize that we have all been in each other's shoes-to some degree, some more extreme than others. We have to stop and realize that when someone is offering you encouragement it is because they care for you and are simply trying to help. You are loved, and one day your will love will come too. So, can you please take that target off my back and let's enjoy a cheesy chick flick?

xoxo~ Maggie

Are You Talking to Me?

Relationships are great aren't they? They make us feel special and complete, even whole. Sometimes we get so comfortable in our relationships that we misinterpret what our other half is communicating to us. I ran across an interesting article in this month's Cosmopolitan magazine. It was intriguing and right on the money. Unforunately I couldn't find the article on Cosmo's website, so when you get a chance go pick one up in your local store or browse through it in a bookstore. You won't regret it.

Anyway, we forget the detail when talking with our significant other. We become so familiar with one another that we think we can skip the details. And what research has shown, is that this leads to confusion, misinterpretation...and finally an argument. For instance, if you were telling a complete stranger how to get to a restaurant you would give them street names and specifics. But if your spouse were to ask you, we'd end up saying something like "Oh it's over there where our favorite hangout is" Well he/she may not remember just which favorite hangout you mean. It can be something as simple as that.

Also, being on the computer or on your cellphone while talking with your spouse (or just in general) allows for miscommunication. We all know that when we're doing something other than directly looking at the person speaking, we don't hear everything he/she has to say. We should take the time to focus on our partner and pay attention to what they are telling you. Trust me, it's very easy to do this. But we have to take the time to make time for the person who decided that we are worth their time. :)

All that being said, get back to talking. We are getting to an era where

everything is technical and we're losing touch with each other on a personal level. Bring it back and show some love by just lending an ear and attentiveness to that special someone.


Love and Be Loved!

xoxo~

Little Things: Do they count or no?

I've always told Matthew that it's the little things that matter most. I'm not the kind of girl that needs anything material to make me extremely happy. I'm amused very easily, anyone who knows me, knows this. Examples:

a text message during the day to say I love you
leaving behind a note that says something to the effect of: hope you have a great day!
a love letter (ladies, depending on your man try not to push this one, it's just not their kind of thing)
hand picked flower(s) ("just because" are the best ones)
helping clean up after dinner

I could go on about all the small gestures that make relationships with your significant matter most.And everyone is different. All that being said, we've heard that it's the little things that matter.
Ok, strike that and reverse it: now when you're fighting (and like it or not, fights are going to happen-you have to pick and choose your battles), sometimes the worst fights are over little things. I'll give you the biggest example of this: leaving the toilet seat up.

The toilet seat is a world-wide battle (so don't feel like you're the only ones). Couples will fight to the death over this and you know...it's pointless. It's annoying, but it's not worth fighting over.
I get aggravated when there's water around the outside of the sink, like on the countertop. It's a huge pet peeve of mine, and probably a little OCD; however, Matthew knows how much I hate it. Yet, the boy will not wipe it down and takes on the "I don't know what you're talking about" role. After 3 years of living together, and the first two arguing over this little thing: I've realized it's not worth it. I just wipe it down and ask him (nicely) to clean up after himself. It's all I can do. My dad tells me that the little things don't matter. It's funny because this whole time you've thought they are what matter most. lol So to save yourself some heartache, think about those little things that drive you crazy or the ones that make you smile. Determine if they're worth the trouble or worth the reward. Love and be loved! xoxo~

Ships: Friends, Family,& Your Significant Other

Welcome to the Ships! That it short for relationships. I had a friend tell me that I should start a blog on relationship advice, so here it is...part of my blog related to just that! These topics will either be true story (straight from me) or will be passed along from reading I have come across. I'm excited about this because I have honestly been through so many ups and downs with relationships here lately and I know I'm not the only who has had to deal (good or bad) with some of the things I have been through.



I want to keep this post short and sweet, so I've left a few pointers below on how to keep a good 'ship:

Communication: learn to talk.
Listen: sometimes that's all that's needed

Embraces differences: don't try to change someone (unless it is a risk to their health)

Love: simple no explanation needed

Fun: learn to have fun in whatever you do

Love and be loved! xoxo~